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“Everything’s Bigger in Texas” – Including the Culture Shock!
Howdy again, this time from the Lone Star State!
So, it’s been a few months since this Yorkshire lad swapped tea and rain, for tacos and tornado warnings, and let me tell you – the phrase “everything’s bigger in Texas” isn’t just a catchy slogan. It’s a full-blown lifestyle.
The People: Cowboys or Kindness?
Now, I’ll admit it – I came here half-expecting to be greeted by a cast of rugged cowboys straight out of a western movie. You know, the type who chew on toothpicks, wear boots to bed, and say things like “reckon” unironically. But plot twist: Texans are some of the kindest, softest, most genuine people I’ve ever met. They’ll call you “sir” or “ma’am” with a smile, help you carry your groceries, and still somehow make you feel like family after a five-minute chat. It’s like Yorkshire hospitality… but with more y’alls and brisket.
Driving: A Full-Contact Sport
Now, let’s talk about the roads. Driving in Texas is like entering a Mad Max sequel no one warned you about. The same sweet lady who just offered you homemade pecan pie will tailgate you at 90mph while sipping sweet tea and yelling at Siri. Whilst apparently it seems, speed limits are more of a polite suggestion than a rule. I found out – and I still can’t believe this – that Texans voted to get rid of speed cameras. VOTED. Like it was a local bake sale or something. Not that I’m complaining however…
Also, if you are not driving something the size of a small bungalow, good luck. I’ve seen trucks here that could comfortably tow the Yorkshire Dales behind them. I’m half-convinced that some of them have their own post codes.
Traffic Laws: Choose Your Fighter
Here’s a fun one – turning right on red. In the UK, that’s a one-way ticket to a driving ban. Here? It’s basically a yield (giveway) sign. And while red lights are treated like a mild inconvenience, stop signs? Oh, those are sacred! People will slam on the brakes like the road just vanished off a cliff edge!
Guns, Groceries & Gobsmacked Brits
Before moving, I imagined Texas would be like an open-carry Wild West. But in three months, I’ve only seen one person with a gun – and that was in a Walmart, next to the avocados. Also, yes, you can buy a firearm while picking up your weekly food shop! Imagine popping into Tesco for some milk and leaving with a shotgun. Madness.
Food: A Beautiful, Expensive Obsession
Let’s talk BBQ. I thought I knew meat. I did not. Texas BBQ is a religion, and I’ve converted. Brisket so tender it practically apologises for being eaten. And don’t get me started on the Mexican food – it’s like every taco is trying to outdo the last one. But there’s no doubt, it’s pricey. I’ve spent more on a single meal here than I would on a week’s worth of groceries back home. And the portion sizes? Let’s just say I’ve accidentally bought enough pasta to feed a rugby team… for a month!
Fuel & Finances
On the flip side, petrol – sorry, gas – is laughably cheap. Less than half the price of the UK. But with the size of these trucks, I reckon they burn through it faster than I can say “where’s the nearest Greggs?”
Weather: Pick a Season, Any Season
And finally, the weather. Oh wow. One minute it’s blazing sunshine, the next it’s like someone opened the gates of a sauna, and then suddenly – BAM – thunder, lightning, and a tornado warning on your phone. Meanwhile, the locals are out mowing their lawns like it’s just another Tuesday. I’ve never sweat so much, whilst doing so little.
Final Thoughts
So yes, Texas is wild, weird, and wonderful. It’s a place of contradictions – kind people with terrifying driving habits, massive meals with even bigger price tags, and weather that can’t make up its mind. But I’m loving the ride (even if I’m gripping the steering wheel for dear life most days).
Until next time – stay curious, stay caffeinated, and if you’re ever in Texas, bring sunscreen, an appetite, and nerves of steel.
Cheers,
Matt
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